I sat in my truck at 5am after my 3rd trip of the day, and I thought to myself, “what am I doing with my life?”
A few years ago I used to drive tractor-trailers. I would start at 11pm most days and work 12 hour shifts. When I was driving trucks I always felt like I was wasting my life and wasting time.
I had a ton of jobs that made me feel this way. I worked for a pest control company, security guard, valet parking – the list goes on and on.
The problem was that I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my life and I was also too afraid to take action.
The same problem happens in relationships.
People see someone that they would like to talk to and fear holds them back. Fear of feeling awkward and fear of being “rejected.”
Also, people will stay in unhealthy relationship because they are too scared to leave. Or too scared to move on.
Fear is one of the biggest things that holds us all back from becoming who we want in life.
Imagine if you knew that everything was going to be “OK?”
Imagine if you knew that nothing bad would happen to you if you went up and approached a stranger that you wanted to talk to?
What would happen if you just quit your job and started a business?
What if you told your boss that you wanted a raise?
What if you had no fear?
Now, of course I guess I need to add a disclaimer here…
Having no fear doesn’t mean that you should jump off of a bridge or run into a lions cage. Of course you do need some fear. But it has to be rational.
What would be the worst thing that would happen to you if you approached a stranger? Or what would be the worst thing that would happen if you quit your job?
Most of the time we have irrational fears – when nothing bad is going to happen.
Yes, running into a lion’s cage is probably not smart. So just use common sense here and realize that some things that we fear are normal. But a lot of what we fear is complete nonsense.
I have a ton of social anxiety and social fears that have held me back many times from taking action and doing what I want in life.
But I have also taken a TON of action and have overcome many fears. But it’s a process. I’ve learned that almost everything that I feared in social setting is pretty silly. No one is going to slap you for talking to them. And if you want to quit your job and start a business – just do it. You will find ways to survive. It’s not the end of the world.
The reason that I mention business and relationships so much is because most people are unhappy with their job and they would like to be able to meet more people that they are attracted to.
And for the most part it is pretty easy to improve these parts of our lives. We just need to overcome the fear and take action.
So lets talk about some practical ways to overcome these irrational fear, sound good?
I’ve found that most of our irrational fears come from the fact that we don’t always have high self-worth or high self-esteem.
We don’t believe in ourselves and feel like other peoples opinions of us our more important than our own.
We are scared of the unknown. We are scared to think, what if something doesn’t go exactly as planned? But these are the moments when real self-development and real self-confidence take place.
Believing in yourself and knowing that you have the skills, the motivation, the desire to make things workout. If you quit your job and start a business you have a belief that you will do whatever it takes to make it work out.
When I first started my business I was so scared that I wasen’t going to be a good enough salesman. I was nervous just talking on the phone. I was nervous talking to customers.
But I knew what I wanted and I knew that I wasen’t going to let fear hold me back.
Similarly, I had a chance to attend a self-development retreat. At first I was afraid to spend the money. I was afraid to travel out of the country by myself. I was afraid of the unknown.
Eventually I decided that I can’t live in fear. I need to take chances. So I went to the event and it completely changed my life. I met life long friends and gained incredible experiences because I didn’t let fear hold me back.
At the time of writing this it’s been almost 6 years since I quit my job and started a business. Now I don’t have fear talking to new customers. I’ve learned how to control the fear and to just take action.
Quitting my job was one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. I’ve also started approaching people that I find interesting. Despite fear of them not not being “interested.” But you will realize that it doesn’t matter.
Some people you will connect with and some you won’t. And this is exactly the way that it is supposed to be.
It doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person if things don’t work out.
So in order to start overcoming these fears – I want you to start doing as many things as you can. Every week take a new class or do something that you’ve never done before.
Take a yoga class, a martial arts class, a dance class. Do anything that pushes your comfort zone.
The more things that you do that scare you a little – the more your self-esteem and confidence go up.
Once you realize that nothing bad is going to happen – you will start to gain belief in yourself. You will realize that you are in fact OK. No one is better than you and everyone has issues that they are dealing with.
You will also realize that peoples onpinions of you don’t matter. The only opinion that matters is the opinion that you have of yourself.
Do you feel that you deserve the most out of life? Do you feel like you’re a good person? Do you feel equal to everyone else?
You should. And if you’re not there yet then don’t worry – we will continue to work on it.
I want you to think of one thing that you’ve always wanted to try but have been scared to.
Maybe its a dance class. Maybe you’ve wanted to travel someone where. Whatever it is I want you to make plans right now to do that thing.
You can do it.
let’s start taking action and overcoming these irrational fears. let’s live the life that we were meant to live.