If you have ever been to a club or spent some time on a free dating website then you most likely have encountered “difficult” women. These women will usually have a bit of an attitude or even give you a hard time. So why is this? Basically its because they can. There is no shortage of guys waiting to hit on them or waiting to tell them how attractive they are. And women also think that most guys just want something from them – and most do.
Think about it like this: you’re walking through the mall checking out a cute girl and then you hear a guy say “Excuse me, can I ask you something?” You look over and immediately see that hes working at a kiosk in the center of the store -whats your reaction? Its usually no or you might not even respond back at all because you know that he is trying to sell you something. Your reaction is probably not very friendly, because in this scenario YOU hold all the value and he is trying to get something from you; money. You know that if you really want to you can go back at anytime or just go to the 15 other kiosks in the mall.
This is the same thing that happens with women; especially online or at a club because these are the places that they get hit on the most. There are so many people that are trying to get something from her (in this case sex rather than money) that she has no problem giving that person a little attitude because she is the one with all the power and value – she has something that YOU want. This is what you have to change. You need the value – you need to act like you’re selling diamond bracelets in your kiosk and that your product is so good that if she doesn’t stop to look – she is missing out.
How do you do this?
You simply just have to copy her. She is used to feeling like the prize that everyone wants; so if you do the exact same thing back to her; it will seem like YOU are the prize.
For example: I like to message women using a very bold and direct style online. I might say something like, “OK I think that you should cancel whatever plans that you have on Friday night and we need to go on an adventure.” Sometimes a women might respond back with “I don’t know your name or really anything about you.”
The wrong this to do in this situation is to get defensive and to backtrack. If you do this it will appear like you are chasing her. Instead it is better to listen to what she is really saying and then say the same thing back. When she says that “I don’t know your name or really anything about you.” What she is really saying is “ I don’t know you – what if you are a a creep or are not very cool?”
You would respond by saying something like “I know – I am taking a big risk here by being bold and asking you out without really knowing you but you seem friendly. Sometimes my adventurous nature gets me into trouble.” Notice how your value stays the same – you are the one taking the risk not her. Because you have standards too and what if SHE’S not cool?
Here is another example: I like to message girls and say “Lets meet up Saturday night – it will be a surprise but just bring a water bottle, dancing shoes, and a leopard print scarf.”She might respond with “Would I in fact need to bring a water bottle, my dancing shoes, and a leopard print scarf?”
Again, I don’t want to “chase” her. I would respond with something like “Wait – so you can’t dance? Its hard to find a girl these days that can dance AND that has good style too.” This will make her feel like she needs to defend herself and qualify herself to you i.e. she is chasing you.
You want to come across as having standards – you’re not just going for any girl that will give you attention. How would you react if you knew that you had the power? You had the money and she was just a lolly kiosk salesman vying for your attention. Just like you know that there are more kiosks around the corner in the mall – there are also plenty more women out there too. You should never be begging for her to like you or be scared to lose her.
You hold the power.
You’ve put in the work to improve yourself.
You’re selling diamond bracelets and if she doesn’t stop to look – shes missing out. Big time.
photo credit: Kimco Realty via flikr
photo credit: Nathan Rupert