Guy: Hi, how are you?
Girl: I’m good, you?
Guy: I’m good. What are you up to tonight?
Girl: I’m not sure yet
Guy: Do you want to go out?
Guy: We can go anywhere. What do you like?
Girl: I don’t know, I have to get up early tomorrow.
Guy: We can go out for a little while
Girl: Nah, I’ll probably just stay in
Let me ask you…
Have you ever had a text conversation like this before?
I know that I have. And it is REALLY frustrating.
At one minute you think the girl likes you because she gave you her number,
but then when you try to get her to go out with you, it is almost impossible.
Well I am going to explain why that is, and what you can do about it.
You will discover why it seems hard to get a girl to go out with you, and I will show you a simple way to build attraction with a girl when you ask her out.
She won’t be able to help but become more attracted to you. Lets get started.
The first thing that you have to understand is that women (especially young women) are very social. They like to hang out with their specific group of friends because that is where they feel most comfortable. The same thing is true for guys, however the difference is that a guy would have no problem ditching his friends for a night to go out with a hot girl.
In fact his friends would probably encourage it. Where as a girls female friends might start asking questions like, “where did you meet this guy? Etc. They will put doubt in her head which will influence her to not go out with a guy, but rather stay and hangout with her girlfriends.
Have you ever had the feeling like you are missing out? You feel like everyone else is out having fun but you’re not a part of it?
This is another reason why it can be very difficult to get a girl to come out with you, especially on a Friday or Saturday night. She wound much rather spend time with her friends than with a guy that she doesn’t know very well yet.
So how can you get around this? Simple. Invite her AND her friends out (this applies more for younger women)
Instead of trying to get a one-on-one date, tell her that you and your friends are going to be at club xyz on Saturday night and that she shouldn’t miss it.
Also, don’t ASK her is she wants to come out. Tell her that YOU’RE going out and that SHE is invited.
This way it seems like whether she goes out or not, you are still going to have fun. As you probably know, in the beginning stages of a relationship it really is a game until she gets to know you on a deeper level. Part of the game is not seeming too needy.
By letting her know that you are already going out, you won’t appear needy as if you kept asking her, “do you want to go out tonight?”
For example: Instead of texting her, “Do you want to go out tonight?” You can say, “My friends and I are hitting up this new club tonight, you should stop by it’s going to be epic.”
It is much easier to have her and her friends hangout than it is to get her to come out one-on-one. But, once you build up enough rapport and see her more often, THEN you can ask her to a one-on-one date.
The next thing that you want to do is – make sure that YOU are the one planning the date.
Women are naturally attracted to a man that is a leader. So you should always have a plan.
Instead of asking her, “what do you want to do?”
You should text her something like, “We’ll get sushi at 8 and then go to a salsa dance lesson at 9:15.”
It doesn’t matter what date you have planned, just be sure to have a plan and not leave the decision making up to her. You can ask her what she likes to do (maybe she doesn’t like sushi or salsa dancing) but then you should still offer a plan and change it if you need to.
What do you do if she is busy and can’t go out?
Once you ask her to go out – you don’t want to keep asking her over and over again. If she says no or if she seems to always be busy, it means that you haven’t created enough attraction with her yet.
The worst thing that you can do is to ask her over and over if she wants to go out – doing this will only make her see you as a low value, desperate guy that she isn’t attracted to.
What you should do instead is something like this…
Guy: I feel like shooting pool tonight. I’m going to be over at xyz pool place tonight at 9pm. Come by.
Girl: I can’t tonight
Guy: Last night was awesome. I’m pretty sure I’m now banned from that pool hall.
Girl: Why, what happened?
The point I’m making here is to NOT be affected when she says that she can’t go out. Still live your life and then tell her about it. Tell her what she missed.
Women are attracted to guys with interesting lifestyles. If you are always texting her about the fun things that you are doing she will become more curious about you and start to ask questions. When she is asking questions – it is a sign of attraction.
If she doesn’t go out with you at first – no big deal. Keep sharing things that you are doing in your life. This will build comfort, she will get to know you better, and it will also build attraction long term.
Ask her to meetup with you or to go out once or twice. If she is busy, don’t ask her out again for awhile. Only text her about the fun that you are having when you go out.
You can also fake it until you make it.
For example: if you don’t have anyone else to go out with and you end up staying in for the night after she says that you can’t go out – you can always turn it into a positive thing.
Guy: I’m actually so glad I stayed in last night. I woke up early and had the most intense training session ever.
See how it is positive? It wasn’t a negative thing that she couldn’t go out. You are still living your life. There are no signs of desperation.
1) Ask a girl out over text to a group event. Have her and her friends meetup with you and your friends. A lot of times it is easier to get a girl to come out in a group than it is one-on-one. Once you see her and build more comfort – you can text her for a one-on-one date. This is especially true of younger women.
2) Always have a plan for the date because women will always ask, what are we going to do? Never reply, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” Having a plan and being a leader is sexy to a women. When you ask her out on a date, make it specific and have a plan.
3) If she can’t go out with you that night – no big deal. Text her the next day and let her know that you had an awesome night anyway. Don’t ask her out again right away. Build more comfort and attraction before asking her out again.
You can learn how to do this…
as well as discover the 50 word-for-word text messages to send girls by clicking on the image.
Click on the image and then check your in box for the message and bonus.