One Way That “Nice” Guys Lose Attraction

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A man will do almost anything to get the women that he’s interested in to like him.  

He’ll fix her car, buy her gifts, buy her dinner, take her shopping, even be a shoulder for her to cry on.  

Naturally the man thinks that if he is just nice enough or available enough, she will like him.  

Wouldn’t that make sense though?  If you are really nice to a girl, wouldn’t it make sense that she would like you?  

It does seem like it should be that way, but IT ISN’T.  It’s not even close.  

 

Look at this example from a friend:  

  “I was talking to this co-worker that I like today and she was telling me and another person about this guy she’s been seeing. She was telling us how he’s done all of these things for her like fix her car and computer. But she hasn’t made up her mind about him.”   

 

The key part of this quote is: “She hasn’t made up her mind about him.”  

 

What Is She Really Saying?

What she is really saying by not having her “mind made up yet” is that, this guy is trying way to hard to impress her.  

On one hand she is thinking “wow this guy is being really nice to me I don’t want to break up yet” but on the other hand she is thinking that there is NO attraction towards him so why is she staying.  

Being “nice” is not what she wants.  

It does’t build attraction.  I spent years being the nice guy that would do anything for a girl and it literally got me no where.  

I would always lose out to the guy that gave her a bit of a “chase” or a challenge.

I would lose her to a guy that made her a PART of his life but NOT the focal point of his life.  

Women are attracted to men that have an interesting lifestyle that SHE can become a part of. They don’t want the guy to just follow her around like a best friend and do everything that she says. 

The Point Is…

You never want to be so available and jump at her every need.  She WILL lose attraction towards you.  Its that simple.  

Instead, you’ll want to have a balance.  You need to have an interesting lifestyle that she can be a part of.  You’ll want to have interests that fulfill you and satisfy you, separate from her.   

Now when you’re with the girl that you like, you will be coming from a place of fulfillment that is independent of her.  

A lot of guys get stuck in the trap of making her the main or only part of their life.  The guy becomes to needy and it literally sucks all of the life out of her until she wants to break up.  

Instead, focus on your life. Your passions. Your interests.  

Allow her then to become a PART of your life but not the only thing that defines you.  

Try This…

Next time you get a girls phone number – wait as long as she waits to text you back. 

For example:  If you text her “Nice meeting you last night” and she text you back 3 hours later – then you wait 3 hours until you text her.  Don’t text her 5 seconds after she texts you.  

I know you might be thinking – “But I like her so I want to text her right away.”    If you do do that – there is a good chance that she will see you as to available, and she will lose interest.  

Try my method of being “less available” and leave me a comment – let me know how it’s working for you. 

Keep It Alpha, 

singnature

 

 

 

 

 

 

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One Response

  1. Dave
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    I have always been the nice guy. I’ve tried to be a boyfriend to many women, yet it never panned out for me. I guess I just need to show women that I want to be with her in a different way. I need it to be where a woman wants my help rather than I just giving it. If I can get to that point with a woman, I think things will go greatly.

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