What’s the first thing that women say when you ask them, “What’s the most attractive thing about a man?”
They almost always say that they want a man that is confident.
But what does that mean? What is confidence?
Because everyone has confidence at something. It doesn’t matter who you are, you have confidence. If I say ride a bike from point A to point B, I’m sure that you could do it with confidence.
So how can you get this same confidence with women? If you have confidence in one area – like riding a bike in the example. Or maybe in martial arts, or maybe playing an instrument, etc.
How can you take this confidence and transfer it to being with and attracting women?
Well, my experimental psychology professor said to me once before doing an experiment, “in order to test something, you must be able to define it.”
confidence is an abstract word. So we must understand what it really means, and what women mean when they say that they want a guy that is ‘confident.’
So let’s talk about specific traits that women find sexy in a man, and how we can use this to become more confident.
#1) Women Like Men That Lead:
So, you always want to have a plan and lead the interaction. Instead of asking her, “what do YOU want to do?” Come up with a plan and make suggestions such as, “I know this awesome new sushi restaurant that just opened, let’s meet there at 9.”
#2) Confident Men Face Their Fears:
Approaching women can be hard and sometimes seem almost impossible. But if you do (regardless of how the interaction goes) you will be seen as a more confident guy. Women like a man that goes after what he wants.
#3) Confident Men Have Goals:
They are always trying to improve and reach some type of goal/achievement. A man that has goals is sexy to a women. Maybe you’re training for a tournament, maybe you’re starting a business, maybe you’re learning to play an instrument. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s a goal and there is some passion and drive involved in reaching it.
#4) Confident Men Understand Women:
Think about the bike riding example – the first time that you rode a bike you probably weren’t very good because you didn’t have enough experience. You didn’t know how the bike would react to your movements. But as you gained more experience, you got a lot better.
To be confident with women, you must understand them. And understand that they WILL TEST YOU at certain times. And you should NOT take it personally. Especially if you are at a club or bar setting, women will test you and test how you feel about yourself. Confident guys know this and expect it. They don’t think to themselves, “Wow every girl hates me, no girls here want to talk to me.”
Instead they understand the situation, they understand that women are just sort of ‘screening’ them, and don’t get freaked out by it. Stay calm. Which bring us to the last one…
#5) Confident Guys Control Their Emotions:
Confident guys understand that NO ONE is perfect and that NO ONE is better than them. Everyone has some type of flaw, so don’t get down on yourself to hard if things don’t go perfect. A lot of times you just have to “See Reality,” here is how to do that…
A lot of times the problem is with out thinking. We think things that aren’t really true (although we believe them to be true). Doing the exercise in the ‘confidence box’ is a great way to start to turn around some ‘distorted’ thinking. This will help you to see reality and also gain self-esteem.
Let me know in the comments if you are going to try out the ‘confidence box’ and also…
Grab your free ‘Neediness’ Mind Map to see if you are in the ‘Neediness Zone’ with women and also learn some behaviors that may be turning girls off.